the dark nite of the soul….

meditating-by-the-lake-1

Contemplating…

Surrender can be a challenging quest.

I want a plan.  I want to know that all this really hard stuff has a storybook ending.  I want some happy-go-lucky moments in my teen’s life.  I want some pain-free days.

We sit here tonite, still in the hospital, with none of that.   It’s a long, dark road and I challenge my soul to rest into the unknown.  I know that serenity is only available through surrender & acceptance …. and the truth is sometimes that’s hard.

There are parts of me that want some ‘guarantees’ and an entitlement voice that pokes away at me ‘it’s all so unfair’.  I despise that victimy stance & know that it only takes me to unhealthy places.

So I quiet myself with the beautiful verse – a beacon I was given during Cancer #1.

“i beg you…to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language.  don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them.  and the point is, to live everything. live the questions now.  perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without ever noticing it, live your way into the answer….”  rainer marie rilke

I live the questions….and await the light of the morning…

About Shannon Duke

I'm Shannon Duke and I’ve combined my business skills with the wisdom that literally saved my life and have built a system that redefines success. Today I am passionate about helping you achieve life-fulfilling and life-enhancing success in both your business & personal life. Read My Story

Comments

  1. My heart is with you and your daughter tonight and every night, Shannon.
    I wish for your healing and your peace of mind that all will be well.
    I love you both.

  2. You and the beautiful miss K are constant, welcome beings in my heart honey. I can feel you both there and I pray that you can feel all of us there with you; waiting – sometimes patiently; sometimes impatiently – for the doors to those rooms to open just a crack. But for now, we live the questions together with you my darling friend, holding your hand that is holding Kayla’s hand.
    Love r-den

  3. Carolina Oxtoby says:

    Dear Kayla, Shannon and Tyler
    I hold all of your hearts within mine and pray for a ray of sunshine on this dark journey. Hold on tight to Kayla and let your strong spirit flow into hers.

    With love and prayers always, Carolina

  4. John Gulak says:

    I like that verse, Shannon. Sending lots of love your way …

  5. michelle says:

    Oh Sweetheart …. what a raw and emotional sharing. I so hear your voice and heart in your words.

    It will not be long before the cocktail is blended and you will be delivering it within the warm sanctuary of your own home, own beds, with Tyler and Kittens running around your precious space.

    All my love, forever and ever …
    M xoxo

  6. Cindy Schaber says:

    Shannon and Kayla

    Sending you warm hugs and praying for a release from the hospital so you may be surrounded by the comfort of your home and be able to sit out and soak in the sunshine. Keeping you in my prayers always through this journey. Lots of love and hugs.

  7. I hold you and your children in my thoughts and prayers each day – and dark night. That is a lovely verse and I can see how it has sustained you. Stay strong. xx

  8. Andrea Palmer says:

    May you continue to walk safely on that delicate balancing edge of trust, strength and surrender, Shannon. The light always comes up again, even after the darkest night. “Expect to have hope rekindled. Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways. The dry seasons in life do not last. The spring rains will come again.” Sarah Ban Breathnach. Much love to you and Kayla and Tyler. xo

  9. As you sit in your beautiful quiet place, Shannon, please know that there is an enormous circle of love surrounding you, Kayla and Tyler each moment of every day.

  10. Cheryl Boyko says:

    May God grant you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom and peace to know the difference. Prayers are with you. Sending you love and peace.

  11. Carmen Olson says:

    My whole heart sends you, Kayla and Tyler love and light.

  12. Richard Rohr would call it the ‘naked now’ and raw and naked is what I imagine you feel. You, Kayla and Tyler are loved beyond words. Allow the love to wrap you in its warm embrace.

    Shanti,
    ~Lonnie

  13. claudia black says:

    It isn’t fair… it isn’t…. you are allowed that moment…. my love to you , Kayla, Tyler and Mark. claudia

  14. I’m sending you a hug. Just imagine that you can sink your head on my shoulder and rest as you let it all unfold. Let all of the love around you just hold you up and take some of the weight away. We keep you in our thoughts and prayers always…right now. This is so raw an so real. Hang in there my friend.
    Love,
    Melody

  15. Rebecca W says:

    For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
    Words I know you’ve probably heard so many times. But Someone out there has plans for you and Kayla that are beyond anything you could imagine. Hope. That’s what I pray for you Shannon, that you never lose it, that knowing how much you and your precious daughter are Loved will enable you to hang onto Hope.
    - Rebecca

  16. Paulette says:

    Sweet Shannon,
    How heartfelt and vulnerable are your words.
    Thank you for sharing that beautiful verse.
    I am wrapping you and your darlings in love and white light.
    Love,
    Paulette.

  17. Colleen says:

    Shannon, Kayla, Tyler
    Holding you all in our thoughts and prayers. Our prayers are for healing, comfort and peace. prayers also that you will gain strength from the love and support of your friends. God Bless.

  18. Michelle Richardson says:

    My dear friend, my heart aches for you and also sends you and your a-mazing family strength, love, and positive, healing energy. Holding the Vision for the best possible outcome, as always, and adding an extra dose of faith for your journey through. Much love to all of you, Michelle oxo

  19. Sonia Biro says:

    I am simply in awe of all of you. Of your strength, and courage and your amazing heart. I don’t know that I would be that strong. You are teaching me so much. My heart is with yours today, praying for that light.

    Love you all,
    Sonia

  20. Belinda Horvat says:

    Hi Shannon, I’m sending you all my love, good luck and positive energy to help you through. Do not despair, you are completely surrounded by good and loving people, first class medical professionals and your incredible strength from within to pull you through. You can do it, and you will. I impatiently await your good news. XO Belinda

  21. While I am sure you don’t feel like it right now Shannon, you are the light!! You, Kayla and Tyler certainly do live the questions. While we watch from the sidelines we are all trying to reflect back the light you emanate so that when things seem the darkest you can find your way to some semblance of peace in our love. I hope that you can find some comfort from the love we all have for you and your family. It is a dark time, but you shine Shannon … you shine!! All my love and prayers!!

  22. Shannon, your name came up in a conversation with someone at the office today. I am lucky enough from my cancer experience that I participate in The Enbridge Ride to Conquer Cancer. 2013 will be my third year. There are many people, like you, who ride with me in my heart. I wish you, your family and friends well. Sincerely, David.

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